If You Were Mine Read online

Page 5

  Author: Bella Andre

  Until she was seventeen, she’d believed in love. She’d thought her parents had the most wonderful marriage, had prayed she’d find a man to love her the way her father so clearly loved her mother. And then she’d found out the truth. . . that her father had been cheating on her mother for practically their entire marriage. All that time, he’d been lying to her mother. And to her. Because every time he came home from one of his business trips saying how much he loved them, how much he missed them, how they meant everything to him—it had all been a lie.

  Heather slipped a finger beneath the sleeve of her long-sleeved shirt and traced over the fine lines of her old scars from cuts she’d put there herself night after night, when she hadn’t known how to deal with her swirling, dark emotions. When all she’d wanted was to feel control over something. Over anything at all.

  She hadn’t known at the time just how many teenage girls and boys cut themselves like that. It wasn’t until later, when she went away to college and the nurse at the student medical center had seen the cuts during a gyno exam when Heather was wearing a cloth gown, that she’d been given a pamphlet on cutting. She’d already begun to get past it by then, but knowing she wasn’t the only girl in the world doing it did help some. Still, even though she hadn’t cut herself in nearly ten years, the scars had never quite disappeared, both inside and out.

  Fortunately, she wasn’t that lost girl anymore. She was a strong, capable woman who enjoyed channeling her energy into work, friends, and dogs. She was happy. She had everything she wanted.

  A man like Zach was exactly what she didn’t need to get entangled with. Not when he was too charismatic for his own good. . . and hers, too.

  Heeding the warning bells going off all throughout her brain and her body, she held her ground and told him, “You can’t have me. ”

  It wasn’t until she saw determination flare in his eyes that she realized she’d just issued a challenge—a really big one—to the wrong man.

  “Another trainer will be waiting here for you at five p. m. ” And she’d make certain it was a completely heterosexual male trainer that Zach couldn’t sweet talk into doing whatever he wanted. The most important thing was that she put an end to their connection. “It was nice meeting you. ”

  She doubted the wisdom of holding out her hand to shake his, but it was the only way to make sure he knew they were done, that whatever sparks had been jumping between them were officially going to be extinguished today at the close of business.

  He moved nearer and wrapped his fingers around hers. “I owe you for saving Cuddles today. ”

  “No,” she said, shaking her head, as his warmth enveloped her head to toe, “you don’t owe me anything. ”

  “We both know I do. And I always pay my debts. ”

  Oh God, why couldn’t she breathe?

  She wasn’t a virgin, wasn’t some young girl easily dazzled by a man just because he looked in her direction. On the contrary, she was a pragmatic woman who knew only too well just how false a pretty facade could be.

  “Take good care of Cuddles. ” She slid her hand from his. “That’s all the thanks you owe me. ”

  Before she could walk away, however, her stomach growled and she snarkily muttered, “Agnes’s call came just as I was about to grab something to eat. ”

  Again, she didn’t realize her misplaying of the situation until he said, “Let me make it up to you by buying you dinner. Somewhere we can sit outside so the dogs can play. ”

  Did he think she’d just fallen off the turnip truck yesterday? She knew exactly how he expected a make it up to you dinner to play out. He’d ply her with a few glasses of wine and then the next thing she knew, she’d be flat on her back, begging for him to take her.

  It wasn’t that she was a prude. On the contrary, just because Heather had always carefully guarded her heart with men, didn’t mean she’d foolishly given up the pleasure of being a woman. She’d just always made sure that her partners weren’t any more interested in her heart that she was in theirs, and that there was no chance of anything ever going deeper than the physical.

  But with Zach. . .

  Daring to give in to the shockingly strong urge to kiss him would be the stupidest thing she ever did. Even from a distance, being near him made her feel completely out of control. If he were to put his mouth, his hands, on her naked skin—

  Just the thought of that had her senses reeling.

  She took another step back from him. “I’m still playing catch-up from being pulled out of the office for so long this morning, so I’ll have to pass on dinner. ”

  She told herself she wasn’t being a coward. On the contrary, she was being smart, protecting herself from the exact kind of man that could destroy her.

  “Remember what I said about tonight,” she told him before he could press her on dinner again. “Don’t make the mistake of letting Cuddles get away with anything because she’s cute. You’ll only confuse her. ”

  “What if I’ve got a thing for cute?”

  This time, he very clearly wasn’t talking about the dog. Evidently she hadn’t been direct enough with him thus far. It was long past time to put him in his place.

  “Then you’d better get over it real fast. Atlas, time to say goodbye to your friend. ”

  Heather made a low clicking sound, then turned her back on Zach and walked away from temptation.

  Chapter Four

  Zach wanted Heather with a hunger he’d never felt before. His fascination with girls had started early and he’d been kissing in school hallways way back in middle school, going a heck of a lot further than that by high school. But for all the playing he’d done during his thirty years, he’d never felt such a strong need, especially so quickly.

  Had this been the way his father had felt about his mother when he’d met her?

  Suddenly realizing the crazy direction his brain was going, he almost lost his hold on Cuddles. She gave a little squeak as he tightened his grip on her.

  What was wrong with him, thinking about Heather that way?

  Ever since he was seven and his father died unexpectedly of an aneurism, leaving his mother behind to mourn him at the same time that she had to keep raising eight kids, Zach had known that he could never let himself form that strong a bond with a woman. He was too much like his father. Looked like him, acted like him, had all the same interests. He even got the same headaches his father used to get, ones that would come on like a bullet train one minute, and be gone the next. They’d been so much alike that Zach’s uncles had barely been able to be around him after his father’s death because he reminded them too much of Jack Sullivan. Even now, whenever he saw his father’s brothers, he could tell how hard it was for them to be around him.

  All his life, Zach had been careful to keep the boundaries clear with women. He was all for great sex until they made the mistake of trying to stick emotions on it, at which point he always got the heck out. He couldn’t stand the thought of a woman falling in love with him, planning her life around him, only to have him checking out on her way too early, the way his father had his mother.

  Like father, like son. It was why Zach had always gone for speed. Cars. Women. Life. He wanted to experience as much of it as he could before it ended early. Because he knew he was too much like his father for it to go any other way.

  Damn it, he needed to stop wasting time analyzing this thing with Heather. She was hot. Smart. And sex with her was going to be great.

  That is, if he could convince her to give him a go.

  Finally, he smiled. Because if there was one thing Zach knew how to do better than any guy on earth, it was convincing women to give him a go.

  A half hour later, when her employees had all gone home, he dialed her cell phone. “Pizza delivery out front. ”

  “I didn’t order any pizza. ”

  He hung up on her and waited by the locked front
door. When she saw him through the long window at the side of the door, he thought he caught a flash of a small smile before she replaced it with a scowl.

  “Why are you here again? And how did you get my cell number?”

  “Cuddles couldn’t stop worrying about you missing meals because of us. ” He leaned against the door jamb. “And Agnes checked in a little while ago to make sure we were doing all right. I told her we were, but only because of you. She thought it best if I had your direct line just in case I have another puppy emergency. ”

  Again, it looked like her lips wanted to curve upward, but from the way she always worked to keep her beautiful face so serious, he knew she was bound and determined to resist him.

  Lord knew he’d like to have her bound and begging, instead. . .

  Knowing there was a good chance she’d simply take the pizza from him, then lock him out on the sidewalk, he held Cuddles out so that Atlas could see his new friend from the office. The Great Dane immediately started whining.

  “Really, Atlas?” Heather asked in an exasperated voice. “You’re going to pull this now?”

  Her dog happily wagged his enormous tail and Zach used the opportunity to put the puppy inside, knowing she wouldn’t leave him out there if she had his dog.

  Yup, he now officially loved the annoying little ball of fur, even if she had tried to use his T-shirt to sharpen her tug-of-war skills on the way back from the pizza place.

  “I’m guessing you want to share the pizza. ” She looked impossibly grumpy at the thought of his joining her for the dinner he’d brought over.

  “I’m one of eight. We learned to eat fast as kids or go hungry. If you want some, you’d better start now. ”

  Her eyes grew big. “Eight? Please tell me you’re the worst of the bunch. ”

  He grinned. “Easily. ”

  She was shaking her head at the news of his big family as she headed for a table and chairs off in the corner. As she washed her hands at a nearby sink, she gave him ample time to appreciate the view of her gorgeous legs in her shorts and the way her long hair nearly brushed her hips, even in the ponytail. He couldn’t wait to find out how soft it was when his hands were tangled in it and—

  The loud screech of a chair over linoleum yanked him from his hot daydream. Heather’s face looked like thunder as she sat down. “Stop looking at me like that. ”

  He washed his hands, then sat down across from her. “How am I looking at you?”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t ask me a stupid question when you know exactly what you’re doing. ”

  This wasn’t usually the way it played out, with both sides flirting while no one said what they really meant. But Zach was perfectly happy to give up the game. Really happy about it, in fact, given that the game had been getting pretty old lately.

  He shrugged. “Sorry, but it’s going to be pretty much impossible for me to stop looking at you like that. ” He let his eyes move over her face. “You’re gorgeous, you know. ”

  She looked shocked by his completely honest compliment, and he knew he’d gotten one up on her. Finally. Feeling good about things, he flipped open the large cardboard box, grabbed a piece of pizza, and put it on one of the paper plates he’d picked up at the restaurant. She looked down at the slice, then back up at him.

  “You like egg on your pizza?”

  “Never order one without it,” he lied.

  He put her piece in front of her, then picked one up for himself, taking a large bite of it, egg and all. After her assistant had spilled to him what her favorite toppings were, he had been prepared to suck it up regardless of how bad it tasted, but it was actually pretty good.

  “No one likes egg on their pizza but me and people from France. You’re the first. ”

  “Your first, huh?”

  She shook her head and sighed. “I can’t believe I have to spell this out to you, but I obviously do. ” She looked around the building as if to make absolutely certain they were the only two people in it before saying, “I’m not going to sleep with you. ”